I was writing a piece for this blog, in relation with my secondlife experience, revealing what a pathetic looser I am.
Now, the fact that I am a pathetic looser should remain a closely guarded secret.
So, instead I have cleaned up my blog a bit and made this entry.
I still had my alt and the programs on my HD giving me a sort of a backdoor to sl.
Today I have given my avatars (in a box) and last camping fees to someone else (don't mess with them Maryld). Modified profile reflecting status, unsubscribed groups, edited preferences so avoiding receiving IM's to e-mail. Canceled the sl account for my alt.
And with a deep sigh uninstalled sl from my HD.
The door is definitely closed now. No IM and chat is possible.
I've never been told why I was poofed and I'll prolly never will know. It still has me confused to be poofed without notice, without an explanation afterwards and without any reason. It at least closed the place I was addicted to permanently, making it hostile, ending most the fun of sl for me.
Yesterday I had the golden opportunity to say farewell to someone very special in sl. With that I'm able to have some sort of a feeling of closure. I hope you find your way and make the right choices. *hugs* and pls let me know how you are doing.
Yesterday I have tried to make a rather neutral observation on my activities, life, in secondlife (sl).
Reality is that I'm in the middle of detox/ cold turkey. A lot of things that I do make me remember my time in sl. I'm surprised that a life of just two months can have such an impression on me.
I wished I could go back, back to the warmth and fun and I honestly miss some people I have met in sl. I can't contact them without starting up sl. But I know starting up sl means also being drawn back into the game.
I've had to handle some heavy emotions during the past few days, it isn't over yet.
My real life isn't all that fun. sl gave me a break from that but returning to reality means that life hurts double as hard. Also there are some unresolved issues in sl and I'm unable to resolve them, even if I would return. I'm missing the feeling of closure.
O.k. The title sounds a bit drastic but it sort of sums up my secondlife during the last period.
After trying some 3d games, ActionCube and Nexuiz, I remembered some Dutch publications about SecondLife so, since it's free, I went for a massive download and an account.
Before I knew it I was completely drawn into the game almost forgetting that it isn't reality.
The game is extremely popular. I've tried to identify why.
The game incorporates a neat way to create 3d objects, houses and other things. You can own land. There is money. You can buy things. There is shopping. There is free stuff laying around. You can look great. The others look great. You can earn money by providing services. The game is filled with erotic pleasures. You can be anyone you want to be. There is chat.
The game plays in a 3d environment that has some physics inbuilt. There can be weight. Things can move. Most of the environment is build by people playing the game.
Oh, and you can fly.
Most gameplayers, residents, are completely addicted, like Usenetizens are, and are completely drawn into the game. I've been there.
I won't write about how the first stages of secondlife are, other blogs are better at that.
In the beginning I was continuously looking for free stuff. Tools, clothing and other stuff.
Next I visited the sites, the places you need to see. There are some great looking buildings and islands to explore.
After that I examined the erotic world of secondlife. It's huge. People can do anything with their avatars (the characters they play). Males can be females and vice versa so all erotic fantasies are lived out to the extremes without attracting dangerous diseases. Though you are 'born' without the essentials (male and female) you can pick them up at various places for free. From a visual aspect. their usage looks rather realistic. I didn't try the extremes, somehow I had the feeling that my avatar could get dirty by it, at least in my mind.
Earning cash is difficult and there are so many things you just need to buy you just want to have cash in your pocket. One easy way of earning some cash is camping. Camping means sitting in a chair as long as possible with your avatar. A flatfee internet comes in handy so you can leave your avatar overnight on a chair and get some cash for it.
That sitting is a service. With it a region-server can be tested with the max amount of visitors. Next to that, places that have visitors attract visitors. The amount of visitors is scored and will place a region to the top of the list when searching. Also I suspect it is used to force people out of areas but I am not sure about that, but if I were a landowner I wouldn't want a massive amount of campers next to me since it would slow down the speed on how a server operates.
Another service many people provide is fulfilling erotic fantasies, the escorts. The escorts need to be able to be good erotic speedwriters so to provide a service and they need to have good looks, naturaly.
Somewhere during my exploits I found an erotic danceclub and that place somehow became my favorite place to visit, and a good reason to camp a lot.
Though there are good gatherings of people where they chat I found that the best place for me was just that club. The reason, erotic chat, normal chat, beautiful ladies (most escorts), interesting bodyparts and just a lot of fun. I spend most of my camping fees there by tipping the ladies on stage and though the value of my tips wasn't high they appreciated my tips.
One of the ladies made me realize that secondlife can cause a brain mixup. I was unable to separate real life from secondlife for a while. Thank you Lady for making me realize I had to take a step back. Another Lady gave me some good hints on how to deal with the game, without her I would have been lost fursure.
Two coincidences collided. I was poofed somehow and my real life started to have cracks. Heh, just look at my blog with the last entry in December last year, or my postings on Usenet.
I have ended my secondlife, so that is firstdeath. Hence the title of this entry.
I canceled my account 21 February.
My secondlife is over. I'm completely exhausted by all the impressions I had.
I didn't put my life on a hold during the game so I lived two lives simultaneously. Tiring. Now that the game is over I can go back and concentrate better on my life. I take the experiences with me and will always look back with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.
If someone asks: Is secondlife addictive? The answer is: Yes, absolutely, give it a try :-)
